Silence is not the absence of something, but the presence of everything. - John Grossman
I'm beyond impressed at the ability so many bloggers have to put something out there, sometimes as regularly as every.single.day. And it's stuff people enjoy reading, they aren't just typing out the phone book or sharing obscure poetry (although I'm sure, somewhere in the world, there's an audience for even that).
I haven't posted in almost a month. Obviously, I am not one of those people. But if the quote I cited above is true, then I'm very present, right? That's got to be worth something.
I find blogging to be something of a challenge. It feels strange to write about myself, and the things I'm doing. Why would anyone who doesn't know me want to read about it? Does the fact that Little is finally getting the hang of spelling, or that Big has started her state standardized testing and, for the first year, isn't stressed to the point of tears, mean anything to anyone outside of my family? Confidence has always been a sticking point for me. I'm not especially interesting or worthy in my opinion; I'm just a wife and a mom who does what has to be done. To me, the fact that my house is clean and my kids are, too, along with them being healthy, well-fed, and reasonably decent human beings, is just every day kind of stuff that anyone could do if she wanted to.
Which, I suppose, brings me back to why I blog even though I don't love it. I started designing jewelry so that my girls grow up realizing that who and what they are is good enough. That they have the ability to do anything and everything they want in life if only they're willing. That you don't need to wear a tiara or a cape (or both, if you'd like!) to have super powers. And the blog is an extension of that, where I get to explain some of the behind-the-scenes stuff and keep a record of the process.
The hope is that they grow up with a quiet, strong confidence in themselves. I want them to have what I still struggle to find on a daily basis. I'm getting there, with their help, and this is my way of returning the favor.
I made these for them today -
Sculpey clay hearts, with the handwritten word Love and a crystal. I'm going to add a cord so that they can wear them as necklaces. The plan was to try something new that I could possibly add to my jewelry designs, only to realize that while I'd bought the clay, I had no tools to use with it! So I did the best I could, just to see how I felt about the process. Props to people who do this a lot. I'm going to have some serious muscles in my arms from conditioning this stuff! It was sort of fun to play with, but I'm not sure I want to invest in the items I'd need to really make an attempt at a marketable product. Regardless, the kids will be excited.
They'll be home any minute. Can't wait to see their smiling faces! Unless, of course, somebody got hit, kicked, yelled at or stepped on during the bus ride, or has too much homework. In which case I'll be seriously tempted to chase down the driver and ask if he'll take them back now, instead of waiting for morning. :-) Just kidding, but I will be locking myself in a bathroom in that case, for a little Mommy Time Out.
Have a wonderful day!